You ever get that feeling, where you're just SOOOO fucking pissed at someone cause they're just full of shit? Like, I dno. Maybe I'm just having a random psycho moment, but I just realized that I've been pretty fucking stupid for the last two years of my life. Why the hell did I EVER fucking start this shit? Why'd I get myself into this. Talk her into this. God, I fucking regret it. I can't stand what's come out of this. I thought, hell, I really believed, that we were something special. Something great. Fucking look now at what's going on. Neither one of us is pure. But at least I don't change my mind every five seconds and fuck with her. I doubt she means to, but still. That's pretty fucking shady. *sigh* Fuck that shit man. Fuck. That. Shit. I'm really thinking that a couple weeks is just a fucking joke and that I just never need this shit again. Ever a fucking gain. It's just a crap load of pain that I don't fucking need. V's right. If this is the decision, this is it forever. Cause I can't take this "maybe" crap anymore. So this is it. Either these next two weeks help a fucking lot, or I'm never dealing with this again. So if you're reading this, we have two weeks to grow up some and learn to get along, otherwise, I can't deal with having you in my life anymore. I'm so....angry. That's all there is for it. Just angry. I'm so mad at all the FUCKING BULLSHIT that's going on. Like, I'm so fucking pissed that I'm sitting here just BAWLING listening to Garth....Just..fuck this. I don't see how one person can take this much...I don't like to boast, but I'm thinking I'm pretty fucking strong. I mean..damn. The old me would've been SO fucking cut up. But I'm not letting this shit get the best of me. TOO MANY FUCKING TIMES has that happened. This time, it's fucking MY turn. My turn to be in control, so fucking guess what. You're damn fucking right, you "just can't" be with me, know why? CAUSE FUCK YOU. I don't want that anymore. I can't fucking stand the thought of that anymore. I can't picture that again. Knowing the way you've changed. And I'm sure I've changed. But there's no fucking way. Yes, I do miss us. But we're not us anymore. So you're goddamned right. You can't be with me. Cause I won't let that happen. I'm not going there again. I've wanted to die TOO many times at your doing. So fuck you. This "two week" shit isn't going to fucking work. I'm sure I'll see you down here, and I'm sure I'll tell you to fuck off and I never want to fucking see you again. And you know, normally, I'd click the little "private" button to not piss anyone off, but frankly, I just don't fucking care anymore. Because this isn't about you or how you feel anymore. So I'm gonna post this. Even if it is just angry crying rambling. Even if it makes NO goddamn sense. Even if half of it isn't true, and I don't know what's in here beacuse I just typed, and I'm sure it's all fucked up, but I don't care. It's off my chest, and that's what matters. *sigh* Fuck life.