Have you ever just felt like a HUGE piece of shit because you could do something someone else can't? Man..my grandpa..I remember it like it was YESTERDAY. All of it. How we used to all sing and he and kim and lori would play...and how he used to teach me to play baseball...and how we used to play monkey in the middle...and how I used to wash the truck (MY TRUCK) with him..and how I used to sit in his lap on the mower...and how IT ALL FUCKING ENDED....how he got arthritis...how he lost his leg...HOW HE FUCKING CAME BACK WITHOUT A LIMB. How one moment, he's there, all of him, and the next, he's missing his frichen leg. How after that, he's just depressed and meaner...how after that he can't do any of the things HE TAUGHT ME how to do....*sigh* I'd give up my ability to play FOREVER just to listen to him and sing along one more time...I just..*sigh*...I wish I could do SOMETHING to make him feel right again. He was walking (with his prosthetic) today, and I was helping him, and he told me that he hates that he doesn't get to walk much anymore because his legs get weak. And he looked up and me and kinda shrugged it off, but he goes, "I don't want to be an invalid." ... "Ya know?" I was like..."*SHOCK*" I had NO clue what to do or say...Jeez....it's crazy...*sigh*...I'm gonna go...I can't let this get to me this way. I still have four days left.