I can't describe this mood. I'm sitting here, of course bawlng my eyes out again, and all I can think of is how I wish I would've never messed things up. I was talking to William earlier...and you know...it's funny. It all started with one little "let's see" and it all ended in me being too goddamn weak...if I would've been just a LITTLE stronger, and not said that, it would've all worked. If I would've been just a little stronger and not done that, my life wouldn't be so fucked.. I guess I have to be up front. Devin, you'll prolly read this, and as much as I really do care about you and like you, I do still care about Rachel a lot. I don't know if you can understand that, and if you wanna walk away, you may as well do it now. I wouldn't blame you. But I did just talk to Rachel, and we've decided to try to work out our friendship. We're gonna try to make things better between us because things are just so fucked. As great as this sounds, it still hurts so much...*sigh*...I can't even explain it because I don't want to deal with people's responses. I guess if you really want to know, ask me.