i dont think he likes me anymore. maybe he never did but before it didnt matter and now it does. i havent fallen, mearly tripped, stumbled perhaps into love. [but of course by love i mean my diluted sense of just wanting to feel wanted and overanalyzing a situation/relationship until it makes me sick.] i want to go back and change the word love, i think it might just be a temporary relief for boredom. a hobbie. id like to think of this whole thing as a hobbie. hobbies are short lived. bingo is a hobbie. it was short lived. i want this to be short lived. as much as i want all the other good things in my life [present, future] to be short lived. and of course that last line was sarcasm. [but you might not know that unless you knew me and only one person knows me but has long since resigned skipping over these words, im sure.]