i got really wasted last night. rum, gets me every time. i really dont even enjoy drinking but it makes me feel like i fit in now that im not smoking weed. at 21, im still worried about being in with the "in" crowd. but ive really just made up the "in" crowd in my mind and put people on pedestals that arent quite deserving of such. went to work this morning, 45 minutes late, my head spinning like a merry go round. i half ass chop lettuce for a painful two hours pausing to vomit in the trash can before admitting defeat to my boss. i was just like, "its over for me, im going home." and left. i could get in trouble but it felt so good to just take care of myself and not feel guilty for leaving tumbleweed in the dust. (even though it was my own drunken fault that i was so sick) so i went home and slept it off for approximately three hours. woke up, ate jimmy john subs with my brother and nick. love spending time with them, easy to admit that they are by far, two of my favorite people. after that, i ditched them and met roger at borders for afternoon reading. we sat in red leather chairs in the magazine section and i picked over the ones i thought had interesting covers while he read business and money mags that i had absolutely no interest in. i saw hawaii, madonna, and welsh corgis all in one sitting. we easily read for two hours before deciding to walk around. found some post secret books. showed rog what was up with reading other people's secrets. i want to post my own, but really cant think of a secret i have. i realized i havent really left myself a lot to hold onto. ive given myself out piece by piece to everyone i know, and some i dont. i desperately want a secret but dont feel bad for already letting everyone in on them.