it'll be nice if i don't really ever feel anything again. hopefully that's kinda what happens. oh paroxetine, don't be coy this summer will be strange. i know it's going to be a lot different than any other summer. today started out good, but then it got kind of lonely towards the end. i don't think i'm ever going to find a job. no one that meets me ever really likes me much or thinks i'll be a valuable asset to their work environment. my parents have been being subtly extra nice to me lately, and that makes me laugh a sarcastic laugh to myself. christ i hate when they ask me questions about all of it, sooo awkward every time. some interesting side effects i've been reading about, though. may is going by too fast. it freaks me out. i somehow got a B in english, yet my first two papers turned in i got a b- and a c+, and the last one wasn't anything spectacular, so i dunno, maybe she decided to not be such a bitch for once, and be nice or something. these aren't any fun to write now that i'm not high anymore. and i need to meet some new friends, too. so then, i'm going to discover something else. i really don't think i'm gonna find any of it anywhere, and im tired of looking, so i hope it finds me, maybe on some cool summer night