a checklist for why my life resembles beach sand: 1. when i, presumably, lose my license and my driving "privileges" i may also be losing my job. i learned that after talking to my boss today. i don't know how rumors circulate in such a small business, but somehow he found out. 2. the one i had hopes for, then lost due to apathy and frustration, has begun talking to me again, very cruelly bringing back that hope. the other one is so nice she lies to me. then, finally, the last one is insecure so she lets herself get fucked a lot. 3. i am close to the sea and there are, oh, a few other million around me but i am all by myself. the tide comes in soon.