Life Goals: 1. get holiday named after yourself 2. lead small, peaceful nation into prosperity 3. write more than three best selling, award winning, critically acclaimed novels 4. fornicate with at least 25 women (limit abortions to three) 5. find key to happiness and enlightenment (devote at least one hour each day to searching) Random Fucking Thing That Happened Today: Having to take our history test in a different room because of a strange smell that was in our normal room. It kind of smelled like burned popcorn and bacon and some other unidentifiable scent.