i'm happy that i know some great people and that i have at least a few, maybe less, terrific friends and acquaintances. a lot of times when i'm talking to people or trying to express something i say the wrong thing or the words just come out wrong i think. it's really cool when people are nice. it makes me feel good and happy and it makes me want to be nice. i still catch myself daydreaming about my life and all the different choices i should have made if i could live it again. i made a lot of wrong decisions, lived too concerned about other's opinions, and wasn't confident in almost anything i did. but sometimes, like last night, i was just laying in bed and i had no idea what i could even do, or where i could go. anyway, as futile as it is, i always hope that when i wake up the things i want to be changed will just magically be changed, and i'll go on and all will be well. but they never have been, so sometimes i just kinda don't want to get up. i'm doing ok though. things aren't so bad. but they could be better.