i don't really know what i'm going to do. i usually don't plan anything, ever. things just happen or they don't happen and then that's that. shit, tonight is going to be not too great. i can't really find anything worthwhile to do. i could call her, or maybe even that other one, but umm nah, not tonight. it's been awhile since i've had a fucking great conversation. like you're not aware of them when they're happening really, but afterwards you're like shit, that hit the spot. i want one of those. might be back to do some more here later. it's all so much work. i wish it were easy. i gotta stop doing all these things to myself. i gotta find something else. it's better overall this year though. still, it kinda sucks when you have to take a pill just to feel how you're supposed to feel.