Love, its a funny thing, something that I, at age 14, have completely lost faith in. I have often found myself thinking about this and sometimes I come to the conclusion that love isn’t one of those things in life that we’re supposed to understand. For me, a fourteen year old girl with a very open, but opinionated mind, love is not a real thing. I am, however, certain that it exists, for I have seen it... my parent’s were, and sometimes still are, “in love”, along with my cousin’s and aunt’s, so it does exists, just not in obvious ways in my life. Now, this probably makes you wonder why I say that love doesn’t exists in my life, or for me. Well, I don’t believe in its existance. Love doesn’t exist to me because I have never felt what people call “true love”. I realize that this sounds weird, even at fourteen, but it’s true. I am not one of those girls who is so sure that true love does exist somewhere. I do not obsess with finding it and I do not worry myself with the strains of teenage love. I have friends who think that, at fourteen, they are “in love” and that they will be with their current boyfriend or girlfriend for life. I’m not saying that they won’t be with this person for life, but why put so much stock in it at the age of fourteen, fifteen, or even sixteen? Then there is the factor that they think that they are ready to have sex. At fourteen, fifteen, and sixteen it just isn’t something that sounds like you should be doing. I know the risks of it and understand that these people think that they are “in love” and that that is a good enough reason to have sex with someone. Why risk losing everything you’ve worked so hard for just to have sex? Do they think that it makes them look cool, or that now they are truly going to be together forever? I don’t comprehend it. I’ve had my share of crushes and have one now, but I still can’t imagine wasting the best times of your life just to be like everyone else and have a boyfriend. I cannot, however, fathom the fact that girls think that having boyfriend is so exciting, I guess that comes from not having any personal experience. I know what its like to be around guys all the time, I have two “brothers”, and many “uncles” and I was Practically raised by them. They’re great, but I don’t see what the big deal is about having a boyfriend. For me, I think that it would be just like having my “brother” there. I am just not ready to give up the commitment that I have to my family, friends, school, and writing to be totally committed to a guy. Now I can see how the opinion of a inexperienced, fourteen year-old, tomboy, doesn’t really do justice to the opinions of girly-girls my age who have gone all the way or plan too. They make it sound like something wonderful and uneventful, and I’m sure at the moment it is. But what about the aftermath? What happens if your parents find out that you had sex? What if you get pregnant or get or a disease? I just don’t think that’s something that you want to deal with at fourteen, fifteen, or even sixteen. I don’t think that most teens take that into account, that that stuff can happen. And I’ve heard from friends who have had sex, or who plan to, the whole story on how they are prepared for the aftermath and for what might happen, somehow I doubt that. Even when you say that you’ll use protection, or that your on the pill, they are not 100 percent reliable, so why risk it? For popularity, for the spot as a slut or a whore. And I’m not saying that I don’t believe in sex out of wedlock, because I don’t have a problem with it, just as long as you old enough to handle the risks. I don’t think that at the young age of fourteen, even if you may be called an adult or a young-adult, that you are ready to handle the mental and emotional risks. I not only think that you don’t know how to handle the risks, but that you shouldn’t have to. No child, however young or old, should have to deal with it. So, I believe that once you’ve reached the mature age of seventeen or eighteen and have proven that you can take care of yourself and other hard obstacles that may be thrown you way, that you are ready. But then again, only if you are truly “in love”, and if are aware of the risks and what could happen, if not, then wait until you are. And as for me, I’ll wait, I have things I want to do in life before I take on the responsibilty of kids and a husband. I’m just not ready to take that on at fourteen, heck, I probably won’t be ready until I’m in my twenties, but I can wait. Which brings me to think about why girls my age think that they have found “mr. right” at fourteen and fifteen, sure, you might be with the guy your with now for the next twenty to thirty years, but why waist you time at this age worrying about it. If “prince charming” really does exist for everyone then don’t you think that you’ll find him or that he’ll find you when your twenty just as he would find you at fourteen. Which makes me think, who is this so called “prince charming” and “mr. right”? People claim that everyone has one somewhere, but why do they think it should happen at fourteen. I mean, everyone has their own image of what “prince charming” and “mr. right” should be. And in most cases, he’s tall, the best-looking, smart, funny, and normally has some money, right? I guess that’ s what every girl pictures as the “perfect guy”, as long as he loves me for me and treats me right, he doesn’t have to the best-looking, or the smartest, or the most popular, or the perfect jock, or rich, those things are added bonuses. And then that brings me to think about the fact that guys are always looking for “the perfect girl”. They only seem to want and go after the girls who are the best-looking, the most popular, the ones that are into sex, the stuck-up ones, the ones that aren’t concerned with their schoolwork, their freinds, or their family. They always seem to think that if they go out with anyhting less than they are “out-casts”, so to say. Now there are exceptions, but they always seem to be your best-friends, why is that? That brings me to the thought of how some people find it wierd that girls’ have best-friends that are guys. I do, in fact, about half of my best and closest friends are guys. I guess that since I was raised around guys that I find the sports that they play, the music they listen to, the movies they watch, and the random things that they do are more interesting than that of most girls. In fact, my best-friends in the WHOLE world are a guys, one of which I’ve known for eleven years. He’s my best-friend, no doubt about that and a lot of girls that hear that find it very strnge and wrong. WHY? Why can’t girls and guys just be friends? But its like the quote says “Sometimes, when you imagine the perfect guy, you realise that you’ve just described a person you’ve known forever!”, the perfect guy does usually end up being someone you’ve kown for a REALLY long time, or sometimes, even someone you’ve only known for a year or two, but have become the closest friends in that short time. That’s how I feel, in my eyes, if I describe the perfect guy, he’s going to turn out to be exactly how my “brother” and my best-friends are. Why is that? Why do you seem to make the guys that would suit you perfectly, if they liked you back, your best friends? Why? It confuses me, and I’m sure that I’m the on ly one not embarassed to admit it. I’m not embarraessed to admit that love scares the hell out of me. Maybe because I’ve never felt it, or maybe just because I’m not made to be the girlfriend type. One way or the other, its just the most confusing thing. Like I said before, I don’t believe that love is something that we are meant to understand.