you're a cheat, a thief, a liar, a heart-breaker, a good for nothing waste of space. i wish u were dead. gone. out of my life forever. you've done nothing but fuck everything up. everything. nothing will ever be the same thanks to you. you tore my life apart and you think that i can ever forgive you. how could we ever be the same after what you put me through? how? its not possible. so don't come running to me for an apology. never. i will never say i'm sorry to you. ever again. god why were we so fucking stupid?! and before everyone goes all psycho-bitch on me, it is not about any of you. so no, you have no right to go off on me for that. anyways... idk what it is with people these days. get over it. move on. i've accepted it, why the fuck can't you? and again. that isn't about a single one of you. lesley and i are like best-friends now. weird? i know. i mean, she's the ex-girlfriend (like 5 times over) of the guy that i love(d). but she's the greatest. she understands me. she actually talks to me about my problems. when i'm upset and tell her that nothing's wrong she's the only person (besides lane) who fights with me to get the real answer. we share something in common. we got our hearts-broken by the same guy (for different reasons, but still). we both have to sit by and watch him move on with his life. both of us have lost everyone that we have ever needed and wanted to be in our lives. we've both lost our best-friend. we've both lost him... speaking of him...things with kev have evened out. i've come to terms with how i feel about him. i'll always love him, but its no longer that feeling of 'omg! i wanna be your girlfriend' anymore. its very comforting actually. i wished him the best of luck with ginny, and in all truth, i really hope this works out, for both of their sakes. we've been talking more comfortably now, we see each other as friends, not as tolerated enemies anymore, its like it was in the beginning, god you have no idea how long i've waited for this to come back into my life. we ran into them at prom. and when laur and i got left alone we found the two of them and aaron and randal and lindsay and danced. like mad crazy. it was amazing. ginny even pulled me into the group and made me dance with them, and we actually talked. i think we scared kev. i think thats kind of the point i wanted to prove. i wanted to show him that no matter what the two of us had been through, no matter how many hard feelins had been there before, they were now gone. i want nothing but the world for him, and he honestly deserves nothing less, at least not in my eyes. and if letting him go and having him be truely happy without me nagging at his brain and heart every five seconds is was it takes, than so be it. and... its working. i'm moving on. and then there's laur. i'm closer with her than i am with anyone else on this planet (she's rite there with syd, lane, and les). who would've thought, considering our relationship a year ago this time. i can tell her anything. she doesn't bitch at me because of how i feel. she's actually proud of me for moving on and for what i've done for myself and for him. she actually cares about me. she's the definition of a good friend. thats about it. oh yeh. we got out of school in just under two months! i'm so excited. this summer means freedom. i won't have to put up with this bull-shit anymore. granted it means no wacky DS times with yearbook. no more attacking Rob at lunch. no more driving mr. fristoe crazy. no more talking to kev, and brandon, and daniel, and all those guys. but it also means no more drama. no more having to deal with idiots and there little cliques and their fucked up ways. no more watching people make stupid decisions. my parents come home in just under 48 hours. i've never been more excited in my life :-) comments?