so I'm going to kick some major ass sometime soon... lol... Salem understands... lol... I can't stand him right now... his fucking ass is getting on my nerves... I really need a hug from Jesse right now... that would help make me feel better... lol... it would at least help calm me down some... UGH!!! I'm so pissed off right now... you have no idea how mad this makes me... but I refuse to let it bother me... I will not slip into that again... I'm doing so well... I've been happy and energetic these past few months and its getting hard to stay focused on the stuff that makes me happy... I don't want to go back to that... I hated having to lie to everyone and I hated having to pretend that I'm fine... so I'm going to hold this up... even if its hard... even if I wanna scream and cut and all that shit... I'll fight through it for my sake... for the sake that I like the way I am right now... I like being happy and having energy and wanting to do things... I like not having to cry myself to sleep... I'm getting used to being normal and having the life that I want... I'm just going to kick his ass and get it over with... I'm ignoring him and have nothing nice to say to him... not now, not ever... lol... this is hard, but its for the best... I need this escape and I need this openess... this feeling of being alive and what not... so none of you have to worry about me... I'm fine, just blowing off steam that's all... Jesse: I luv ya so much... thank you for being here for me... Shannon: lol... i'm fine I promise Salem: I hate his little scrawny ass sooooo much it isn't even funny... lol...