Turtle (09-21-06) God. I just don't get it. how the hell can he make me feel like this? it isn't right. i'm about to break down in tears. i am shaking b/c i feel so bad and i'm so angry and upset and tired and i feel so horrible. i just don't deserve to live. its so fucking bad. you have no idea by the way. i'm sorry about earlier when i wrote that note that said i was mad @ you, i was angry and upset and tired and i was upset w/ you because kevin was excited to see you and yet he ignored me all day. and because of the whole you going with Lauren to get a dress when i'd asked you to go a bunch of times and you never said anything. so yeh, that's why. i'm still fucking shaking. i swear, the next person to say something remotely not nice i will crack. i have reached a breaking point. i knew this day would come i just didn't think it would be now and here and like this. as angry as i am @ him i really wish i could just cry in his arms. it really sucks when the only shoulders you have to cry on are 1) the main reason why you wanna cry & 2)living all the way in NJ God this sucks. i'm gonna be crying by the time i get on the bus. i really am. i pretty much started crying @ the beginning of class *sigh* this is so bad, like really, we thought it was bad before, i'm having a goddamn breakdown here. i wish i could just stop fucking shaking. i need mrs. beihl. i hate this! *sigh* Montana