well i talked to ben today. it didnt go as i thought it wouldve gone. i told him how i felt like shit watching him make out with his girlfriend right there in front of me and kyle. and he is like well u should've gotten closer to Kyle. first of all i was told that he didnt like me in that way. so i didnt do anything. then i told him how i needed to keep pricking myself with one of my pins to keep me focused on the movie and he's like maybe u shouldve kept ur eyes on the tv screen. he just doesnt understand how much this hurts me emotionally and physically. i just dont no what to do now. hopefully therese talks to him. ive never felt this bad before.