i hate myself and i wanna die...i just wanted to take a pair of scissors to my wrists today and end it now...i still do but im just way too fucking tired to do any thing...i just read about bens accident...and wonder why stuff like that ever happens to me...i wish it goddamned did..im just soo fucking tired of life itself...my parents r really pushing it....and now i have no car to go drive into a fucking pole...now my only hopes is to go play on the train tracks or sumthing...sumthing that wont be soo painful...