I'm in so much pain, right now. I wish I could rip my ovaries out, and throw them far far far away. It's so difficult being a girl. I missed school again. Sometimes its a relief.. Not having to prove anything to anyone. Not feeling like I have to stand on the rooftops and shout "I AM AN OUTGOING PERSON!BE MY FRIEND!" because, honestly, they're all to pre-occupied with their own lives. I was just thrown in the middle of their happiness. It's difficult because I know Im not being myself. I try so hard. I put myself out their, but..in the end, It doesnt really matter. Its only 150 days, or so. I'll live. Right? Right? I hope so. I miss my friends. I miss being loud, obnoxious, crazy, the class clown. I miss being told I talk to much. I miss getting hugs every morning, and I miss people constantly telling me they love me. But I dont miss that place. Just some of the people. Because I dont get any of that here. And I wish I did.. I wish people could see that Im so insanely outgoing. I wish they could see that I CAN make friends easily. I wish they could see that they just dont allow me to be myself, because they're to oblivious of myself..in general. I wish I would stop ranting about this shit. It does nothing for me. Fuck. Show tonight. Im stoked. So many people. Im excited to be myself tonight.