A lot has happened since I last wrote. But most of it seems like a blur, at this point.

School has started up once again, so, lets hope that this time around I can be serious, and achieve the grades I need to achieve. Ive been exhausted lately with my current school and work situation. These past two days off have felt like weeks, because its been forever since Ive gotten a tiny vacation of my own.

Im trying to be less stressed out about my finances, but, honestly, I feel like at this point, with all thats going on, that stress is going to take a while to go away. There are very little things I can control because of my anxiety. And I wish I could take a pill that could make it go away without the side effects of making me a zombie. The thought of taking pills to control my personality does scare me, but sometimes the people around me make me feel like Im sooo bad, that it almost pushes me into looking into it.

I miss my dad, to be honest. Hes been on my mind a lot lately. I cant stop thinking about him, and, sadly, I wish I could. Its getting harder to handle. Shouldnt it be getting easier by now?

I think the little things that I see in me are things that I get from my father. Which probably isnt the best thing in the world. Thank you Dad for my sense of style, and swag. But everything else needs to go.

I spend my money like my father. I need too much attention, like my father. I have an anger like my father.

I dont know. I dont want to think about it. But theres something wrong with me, I think. Im too needy, and too emotionally sensitive. I think way too deeply over things that I shouldnt. Im trying so hard. And sometimes It seems to be getting easier, but other times it feels like a struggle just to prove myself.