Okay, so heres the thing.. Babe, I get upset because I dont want to lose you. And thats something that may bother you, but it will never change. Because there will never be a day when I will just be OK with losing you. Ever. When we have disagreements, when we talk, I never try to excuse myself from my flaws and random fuck ups. I simply try to explain myself, and my thought process so that you might understand me better. Im sorry if it comes across as justification, or an excuse to get out of my fuck ups. I simply am trying to work things out. Im sorry I worry. Im sorry I cant let things go. I dont try to hold on to things. Im simply trying to hold on to you, and any hope of fixing what ive fucked up. Im sorry that it gets bothersome. Im working on all these. From here on out i am going to work on the jokes I make. And the things I choose to get upset about. I will be slow to anger, slow to speak, and gentle. I love you. I am in love with you. Youve done so good, please dont stop now. I need to hear that youre in love with me. These past three days, we have both fucked up. No one is more to blame than the other. I am sorry for all the things Ive done, and all the things ive said. My jokes are not always funny. And my reactions are not always so smart. Ive found that the way we react to a situation is what makes or breaks the fight. If we both were slow to anger, and gentle to speak most of our disagreements wouldnt even happen. Despite all the things that have happened this week, despite the depression ive felt about the situation, you still make me very happy. I still want to spend every waking second with you. I still know we can try, and fix our faults. Youre right, we've been through bigger than this, and we've overcome it all. This is a small mountain to scale, and we can make it. I have hope. For a second today, I sat on my floor and felt like I saw the end. But in the true span of things, there is no end for Sophia and Chris. I can never see a second of my future without you in the frame. Please be gentle with me. Please know that when I get scared, it is just something I need to get over on my own, but telling me that my crying is for nothing doesnt help. Please know that even thought its MY problem...I still need comfort. Even if you feel like it doesnt work. Please know that the things you say, even if taken the wrong way, stay with me, and scare me, and I wish I wasnt like that but I am. I am just trying to understand you, just like I want you to understand me. Im not scared anymore chris. But everyonce and awhile the fear comes back. Thats why I need you. Youve done so good. Im so proud. Please keep it up. And I will too. We all fuck up.This week was a sure sign of how much two people can really fuck up. But I will make it up to you. Lets promise to make it up to one another. I love you. I mean it. Forever. I promise. I will never leave you.