Ive always looked at things through an eyescope of equalness. I have always felt that the reasons you get upset are genuine reasons to be upset. And I have always felt the same about the scenarios that upset me. We will always have our days when we are irrational, and cranky, and the littlest things may get to us, but above all we are very care-free with one another. I have always enjoyed that about our relationship. Our happiness and our fights balance out. And thats fine with me, because we never really fight for long. And even if we do, our make ups make everything worth it. But tonight, when you told me I get upset easily, it hurt so bad. Part of me couldnt rcognize if it was purely from the fact that I find this to be untrue, or because I feel like my persona as an "amazing girlfriend" has, in a way, been marred with this accusation. Somedays, I dont know when you say things to upset me, say things to make me feel better, or say things just because you're grumpy. A part of me appreciates your honesty. But that appreciation comes at a cost, I suppose. Im upset. Im hurt. And maybe Im just proving your feeling right. But I cant help but notice how steady, and going-with-the-flow Ive been since Ive met you, and chose to give myself over to you. Find someone who could put up with the things you do on a daily basis. Find someone who can remain calm and composed, even, 50% of the time. Find someone who, at the end of the day, will love you ten times as much as I love you. I dare you. Dont get me wrong, you are doing so much better. And each day, you grow with progression. And Im so very grateful. Ive let you know, over and over, and over again. And no, there has never been anything youve told me you truly want me to fix. But each day I try to develop myself into the "perfect girlfriend." And you have told me time and again that I dont need to because I have already achieved this.. So when you tell me things like what you told me tonight.. I feel like I have marred an image of myself in your eyes. I hate that you run away from clonflict involving you and i. I hate that you dont allow us to disagree, talk it over, and be ok. Because thats all I want to do. I am never out to fight with you. And sometimes I feel like you convince yourself we fight too much to try. And I hate that. Most of our fights arent really even fights at all, but disagreements And i think we can both agree on that. It hurts me more when you wont allow me to fix things. I hate fighting with you. Sometimes I cant figure you out. You say Im happy all the time. And the next minute you say "Im easily upset." I just want to know whats going on inside your head. When you tell me "You arent fighting with me" but then hours later say "I just wanted to stop fighting.." Does that mean you say things to make me feel better? You hate that I get confused. You hate that I feel like you say what I want to hear But when you contradict yourself what am I suppose to think? Please dont leave me. We're both trying so hard. And things have been perfect. No fights. No anger. Just love. And we will have bumps in the road. And today was a big bump. But I still love you. And I still want to spend my life with you. If this is really something you feel then I will try my hardest to change that. I just hate fucking up. Im so good at it, its ridiculous. Im good at crying too.