Things are better, I suppose. Im just trying to keep looking up and assume for the best, because,in the end, if I dont I know I will just be disappointed. Someone tell me what to do. Im so hurt and confused. Its hard trying to imagine WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE to not have life how it is now. With him. Somedays it's easier than others, honestly. I cant imagine not having him there. Or just the fact that I couldnt kiss him, but I could live without those little things if It meant living without heartbreaking pain. I really do love him. How can I explain how deep it is? My wounds, and my love. I wish it were easier for him to express. How many times must we go over it? It shouldnt be this hard. It really shouldnt. Agenda: cry. cry. cry. cry. homework. bed. cry. I've been happier these past few days, but something always goes wrong. Whats the use in saying anything anymore? It's not like things change to begin with..