I haven't felt like writing in here for a few days...I haven't been in exactly the best mood lately. Or at least not this weekend. On Thursday it was my birthday. I am now 17. Yippee. My mom planned this dinner thing where we would all go out to dinner (we being me and like...my family?) (and Jordan). We went to this Chinese restaurant that we always go to. It wasn't so bad...I was actually thinking it would be more embarrassing than it was. But yeah...it wasn't horrible. My uncle was being somewhat of a pig, but Jordan and I tried to ignore him. We were busy having fun with our little cameras on our phones...taking abstract pictures of silverware and such. Came out with some crazy shit, too. It was such awesomeness... For my birthday I got an iPod, awesome speakers to go with them (for in my room), moneys, and a Bath & Body set thingy. It was way cool. My dad didn't come to my birthday dinner because he felt it would be "inappropriate" because my mom's boyfriend was going to be there. Right. Ron is extremely rich and my father is...not. I mean, the man lives in a motorhome at the moment. I think he may have felt insecure or something around Ron. And used the inappropriate-ness as an excuse. He also hates my mom's family, which probably played a huge part in it as well...lol. But yea he didn't go. He said that he would take me somewhere for dinner on Friday. After school on Friday my dad was an hour late picking me up from school. And he was in a horrible mood, which isn't exactly rare but I didn't appreciate that he wasn't even making an effort to be pleasant considering it was his time to be with me for my birthday. But he was in a bad mood. He dropped me off at my house and said he would be there later to pick me up for dinner. He got there around 6ish and went straight into my mom's room to watch TV. My mom had just left not that long before to go camping at the beach with Ron in his trailer thingy. She said she would be back Sunday, which means that we had to stay with my dad that weekend. We could stay at the house, at least, since my mom wasn't going to be there. But he didn't seem like he was in a huge hurry to take me out to dinner, so I took my time getting ready. I was ready to go around 7:30. I wasn't in the best mood, mostly because of the way he had been treating me that day and also because my brother had to go with us. My brother caused a lot of trouble on my actual birthday and ruined it somewhat. He fought with my mom a lot and I didn't want him to go with my dad and I if all he was going to do was be difficult. I finally tore them away from the television and they went out to the car. My brother got in the front seat and I asked him if I could sit there, as it was my birthday after all, and I wanted to control the music. But he wouldn't move...and my dad was hungry so he didn't care who sat where. It was more of a respect thing for me I suppose, as lately my brother has been treating me like shit at any opportunity he has been able to. But he wouldn't even let me sit in front, which I guess was the last straw or something and I started flipping out. Well actually I just got in the back and was like...ok. I don't care. Let's just go. But my dad made a huge deal out of it and said "I don't want to deal with you people anyway. Just get the fuck out. We're not going ANYWHERE." That's what set me off I think. I was like...damn. My brother couldn't just give even a little bit. I went inside and sat in the office. I was really tired all of a sudden and didn't feel like dealing with anything at the moment. My dad and my brother came in and my dad started yelling at me about I don't remember what so I said FUCK YOU and he got extremely pissed and looked like he was gonna hit me or something but he didn't. I flipped out and started screaming at him and crying and everything...it wasn't pretty. I do not cry. Ever. But I guess that was because I have had so much built up from years and years of showing virtually no emotion that it all came out then. And my brother started laughing, which made it even worse. I literallly could have killed him but yeah...I didn't? Don't know why really...when I think of it it was a stupid thing not to do. Oh well. Maybe next time I lose my mind? But it was no fun. Then everyone chilled out and we were going to try to go out to dinner again but my brother decided to go on this rant that had nothing to do with anything really. Basically he just yelled about how much he hated me and my mother and our entire family and how he would hate to be my husband or something and then my dad talked about how I would never get married and how I would grow up to be exactly like my mother and all this other stuff...I don't really remember what. But I was miserable. I went to sleep. Actually first I asked them not to wake me up early the next morning when they took my brother to Saturday School, as I was really tired and didn't feel like getting up early. The next morning at 6 a.m. my dad yelled at the top of his lungs across the house for my brother to wake up. Obviously I heard him and I was NOT happy. I had asked him nicely the night before...and he had ignored me. Nice of him. When I woke up I realized that I was sick as well. So now I couldn't go back to sleep and I had a horrible sore throat. Lovely. But they eventually left and I had peace. But then my dad got back. He said he would take me out to breakfast and then we could go get him a jacket from Chapparal (?) for when he goes dirtbiking. I was like....hey dad. Do you realize that I have NO jacket and we're going to get you a jacket that you don't actually need?? For a motorcycle that you bought when we obviously can't afford it right now? He was really pissed. No. He was livid. He was like oh and you think that I'm going to listen to some stupid 16 year old? You think I'm that dumb? That you're that much smarter than me? You and your mother probably sit up here and talk all kinds of shit about me. Well I don't need either of your shit. You can go fuck yourselves. I was like uh...ok well I'm 17 now... And it doesn't take an idiot to see that we can't afford what you bought. Not right now at least. And you already HAVE a dirtbike so....why do you need two? Oh well. He left and picked my brother up at twelve. He came back and said he was hungry and was going to get food. I asked if I could go, as I hadn't eaten in almost two days by then, and he said sure. He went out to the car and my brother went out with him and I said that I had to get dressed really quickly and I would be right out. But when I went to go outside I saw that they had left without me? So yeah I got jerked around quite a bit this weekend... But that was the end. Jordan and her mom came and got me after they left and I spent the rest of the weekend at their house. It was much less...stressful. We watched movies, as that is our custom...And I got to use Jordan's Christmas present, which she got early. She got a new feather bed thingy and a comforter, sheets, and pillowcases and such. Her bed looks awesome now. It's just those yellow walls...but they're next I think. My cat is sick. The last 3 times I went to pet him he didn't claw the hell out of my hand. He probably ate something bad..I dunno. He's going to the vet to-morrow. Blah. Tomorrow is the beginning of Finals. Joy. I have Gapper first for two hours. I don't know if I'll make it...Then I don't know what class I have. I'll find out. But I'm not taking my math or psychology finals. I'm failing those two classes without any hope of passing, so my Math teacher said for me to "sleep in on Thursday" when I would usually have that class. Ha. I'll totally sleep in. Nice. Um. Tomorrow. Minimum day. I dunno if we're going to do anything, though. I can't very well talk to people right now, as I am busy writing this. And for some reason I'm still grounded from aim. Even though it's pretty much the end of the semester and we have 4 days left and no homework? I don't get it... Ok. I can't think of what else happened this weekend. Oh. The song Blue by Eiffle 65 (I think) played on Jordan's TV music thing like...3 times in the course of half an hour. I HATE that song. I mean...you have no idea. My god. The hatred. 3 TIMES!!!!!!! I. Almost. Died. Oh. And Jordan got a dancing rabbi. Not rabbit, mind you. RabbI. As in Jew. Or Joo. But he dances. And his name is Joseph. It was almost Jesus but that was too obvious so Joseph he is. He is also in mini form. Key chain, to be exact. Amazing. Oh. The title. Milk. This lameass bulletin was going around on Myspace and Jordan clicked on it and it was one of those things that said Pick which one you are and post it in the subject of your bulletin (having to do with relationships). I was like...you know people add things to that because they're always changing when they recirculate and stuff. Like people add: ------------------------------ Vodka: You like this guy but he's really not a guy he's a transvestite and you don't know what to do because you're in love with him but then at the same time you're disgusted. Orange Juice: Single and loving it! Urine: It's a mess... ------------------------------ You know...those things. So I came up with my own. I added: Milk: I like little boys. I am so milk.