Ok a little better than last night....I'm still fucking tired, though. Ugh. Ho'k. So on Wednesday night my mom called me when I was at Jordan's house and asked me if I wanted to ditch school on Thursday and spend the night in Santa Barbara at the house she and Ron are thinking of buying. Ron's construction company is working on putting a waterfall on the lower half of the property and the Scott, who owns the property, was not in town and neither was his caretaker so he said we could spend the night there. Naturally I wanted to see this place since last time we were there I only saw the little golf course and swimming pool area when we were trying to drop off Ron's trailer. But yeah I wanted to stay overnight since I had heard so many cool things about this place. (I had to pack to go the next day with Jordan to San Diego, however, so I didn't get there until around 10 maybe?) But the house is AWESOME. It's really small, so I thought I wouldn't like it? Ha. Not the case. They did the house in such a way that it isn't like your typical little cramped house. It was really cool. It was Spanish style and the bathrooms....oooooh the bathrooms..... Rich people are awesome. But they spent a ton of money on the master bathroom and the guest bathroom so they have those walk-in huuuge shower things.....which are also saunas. And just...the whole set-up is really cool-looking. So there are 2 bedrooms downstairs and then you go outside and there are stairs going up to a platform thing above the master bedroom. Ron said that if they buy the house, he would make that into a bedroom/studio for me. It's beautiful...and since it's higher up it has an even better view of the ocean and Santa Barbara than the downstairs rooms. I dunno....I just love this house. It's awesome. My only issue with it is that the woman that lives there now spent $100,000 on having it decorated. And the decorating...for the most part....sucks. Like the bathrooms obviously rock. But the couches? And just....some other stuff? Lameness. I would kill my decorator if I spent that much money and she did that. But then mommy is an interior decorator so that won't be hard to fix. So anyway we spent the night there but on Thursday morning we had to drive back because my mom had to open up the business she works for because the owner was out of town in a meeting or something. So we had to be there at like....10 in the morning. And I did not want to wake up that early. And I especially didn't want to leave that house to go to......Saugus. But my mom and I stopped in Fillmore to get Starbucks so it wasn't that bad. I got venti...and I noticed that they started using the holiday cups there on Jordan's birthday. Coolness. So I sat at my mom's office for a little while and looked through her boss's ipod to see what he listens to.....I listen to better music than he does. Ha. Like he has a few of the same bands on his artist's list but they only have like 1 song per person. Fag. I could show him a thing or two... Lol. But yeah I went to Jordan's house after she got out of school and we left to pick her mom up from work downtown. Exciting, I know... Of course there was horrendous traffic in downtown LA. But I was like....oh well it'll die down I'm sure...once we get out of LA. Ha. No. Apparently everyone wanted to get out of town on the same day that we did. So we broke open the Propel and the Cheez-Its and Andes Mints and tried not to think about how sick the traffic was making us feel. Well the Propel caught up with Jordan....several times on the trip, actually...so we had to make a few stops at fast food places. Ha but at one of the McDonald's bathrooms had these hand dryers.....but they were like....jet engines. When you held your hand under it your skin like....rippled. It was odd. But cool. I was like ha...you should put your face under there..... But Jordan lived and we finally got to San Diego and we checked into the Embassy Suites Hotel. We got bored really fast and her parents went downstairs for Happy Hour. And Happy Hour did make them happy because they said we could go and walk around Seaport Village. Coolness. So we walked around and bitched about how most of the stores sold crappy touristy shit, like fucking...wind chimes. ALWAYS wind chimes. And stained glass. AND...sometimes....wind chimes with stained glass. Just a bunch of...crap. Except this one store. They sold hammocks. Genius. So she went and sat in one for a while and I had to practically drag her out of it. I'm sure I'm not the only person that has had that problem at that store... So we walked around to the back part of Seaport Village and had a smoke.....but when we were done we realized that we tooootally smelled like smoke. OHno. And her parents have like....radar...for all that is not right. So they would surely figure it out. God parents can be such a pain in the ass... We chewed gum. That helped our breath somewhat. But our hands totally still smelled like it. Shit. So we sprayed some of Jordan's cheap perfume stuff on ourselves but that didn't work for long. We tried my scented lotion, but that didn't work for long, either. I used hairspray in my hair, which actually did work. We bought popcorn to see if that would cover up the smell, but it didn't. It just made our hands greasy. Eww. So we walked back to the hotel and her parents were busy talking to some other people at the bar so we went up to our room and tried to find something to get rid of the smell. I had read somewhere that tea gets rid of that kind of thing, so we grabbed the complimentary tea bags and got them wet and rubbed them all over our hands (yeah we're not...retarded...) but it didn't work. We tried different lotion, but it didn't work. THEN...I got the idea to use toothpaste. So I tried it and it actually worked. Just in time for her parents to come up to the room to get us to go to Dick's. We went outside and were going to walk to Dick's but some people told us that they would take us there in the back of their little bicycle things. So Jordan and I went in one and Jordan's parents went in another. At one point our driver dudes were racing, since ours wanted to get in front because the other one was going the long way. Heh it was cool... Dick's. Possibly the greatest restaurant on the face of the earth. Or at least one of them. They treat you like shit from the beginning. Like right when you walk through the gate to get seated....they always have something to comment on or just....I dunno. They're assholes. Which is awesome. So the dude that was going to seat us started giving Jordan shit for being a spoiled little birthday princess because her parents took us all the way to San Diego. Ha. Then we sat down and our waiter came. He gave Jordan crap for ordering a Shirley Temple, saying it was something an 11-year-old would have gotten. Then he threw some menus at us and left. There was a live band doing cover songs. I actually think that some of the covers they did were better than the originals...but anyway. We started taking some pictures, but the guys sitting at a table nearby decided to try and distract me and mess up the pictures. Bastards. They threw napkins, waved, yelled... So we were taking pictures and I looked over to my left and there was something written on the wall in Sharpie. But as I was reading it and making a weird face, Jordan took a picture. It was hilarious. Our waiter came back and put a paper hat on Jordan's head that said "Don't tell my parents I kiss strange boys." On the back it said "B-Day Byotch." Except she didn't know what it said, so I took some pictures and showed them to her. Then he came back and gave me a hat that said "Looking for boyfriend. Willing to pay." Sonofa... Oh well mine was funnier than Jordan's. Heh. We ate and then the waiter came and asked if everything was going ok and Jordan said "eh" and I suppose he took it personally and gave her a time out. He grabbed the back of her chair and dragged her over to the other side of the room where she was pelted with paper towels by strangers. We tried to take pictures but Jordan's mom kept turning the camera off on accident instead of taking the picture. Jesus... After we ate our waiter came with a bowl of cole slaw with 5 books of matches stuck in it. He lit them on fire (they practically exploded) and he hit me a few times for not singing Happy Birthday with them (I was mesmerized by the flame, you see...). It was awesome. Jordan went over to pick out what shirts she wanted to buy. But most of the cool shirts they had only came in super-huge sizes, which sucked...but she ended up getting a few cool ones. Then of course we had to visit the bathroom, which has pictures of almost-naked guys all over the walls and bathroom stalls. Pretty much the best bathroom ever...you can buy condoms and other little toys in machines there, also. Genius. We took pictures, naturally... We walked back to the hotel and Jordan took random pictures of her parents holding hands and the staircase at the convention center, which looked cool all lit up at night. When we got back to the hotel we ate Jordan's birthday cake, which we had brought with us. It was spice cake. Awesome. Her parents had left the candles in the car, so they used some of the Dick's matches instead. Afterward we were tired and went to sleep fairly early. The next morning we were awakened by a knock at the door and "housekeeping!" Uuuugh what time is it??? Jesus christ..... She went away and we tried to go back to sleep but....we couldn't. But it was really dark in the room so it was cool. THEN...Jordan's mom opened the door and practically BLINDED us with the light from their room. Seriously. I almost died. And she turned the light on. But then they left to get the complimentary breakfast stuff downstairs and Jordan was kind enough to shut the door and turn off the light. So we lived. But then I had to go to the bathroom so I had to re-open the door. After we had adjusted to the daylight her parents came back up to the room with Frosted Flakes and whole milk for us. I usually can't stand whole milk, but it's actually really good with Frosted Flakes. Or maybe it just tasted better because we weren't in Santa Clarita....yeah I think that was it... We got ready to go and checked out. Jordan's parents wanted to go back to Seaport Village, so we went with them. Of course we went straight to the hammock store and sat there for...I dunno how long. THEN this incredibly hot guy walked up to the area we were sitting in and I noticed he was speaking Italian. Ooooohmygod. I almost...died. So Jordan and I took some pictures which he just happened to appear in....coincidentally... We saw Santa, too. He was fet. And he went into the Harley shop. We took pictures. Then we went into some nature store and the guys that worked there recognized us from being in there the night before. They had this little doodle pad thing that you could play with where you spun this top thing and it had a marker on it and made spiraly things all over the place. We were like standing there in the middle of the room taking up all the toys so the kids weren't able to play with them....I dunno how long we stood there playing with the doodle thing, though. Too long...too long. Jordan's parents finished looking at wind chimes (like every other tourist in the place) and we went to the little pizza place there. It was okay, just a little too much bread I think. Hmm... We left because Jordan's mom wanted to go to the Z Gallery in the Gaslamp District, which was cool because I like that store. But we were walking down the street to the front of Z Gallery and we saw this sign that said "Museum of Unnatural History." Sadly...it was closed. But it sounded waaaay awesome. I want to go there. So we looked in Z Gallery and they had awesome artwork and stuff for your house just like they did last time we went. THEN. We left San Diego. More driving. Great. And there was traffic again. Luckily Jordan had Hot Tamales and Andes Mints. That helped. After a few hours of sitting in traffic around hundreds of other cars Jordan and I started discussing how there were waaaay too many people in California. Which brought us to the subject of illegal aliens. And how they want drivers' licenses. Why would you be able to get a driver's license if you are illegal?? This is beyond me. Like...it should not even be an issue. Here are the reasons why, if you are an illegal alien, you should not be able to drive: 1. You don't belong here. 2. You don't even have a license. 3. You don't belong here. And that's about it. So we started talking about how the Mexicans had that huge rally/riot thing where they all marched in the streets and wouldn't go to work and shit.....and we were like.........why didn't the cops just go in there and deport the illegal aliens? I mean...they were all in one area at once. We thought that originally it was probably some white dude that arranged the whole thing. It was a conspiracy. You see...he could have disguised himself as an illegal alien from Mexico. Then he could have told a few people that the aliens deserve more rights and they should have a huge meeting and riot. Like.....Yes. Let's all go over in that area and picket. Oh pay no attention to the white guys with machine guns...no. We're passing out FREE LICENSES and GREEN CARDS. So let's get into groups of 5 and go into that large building one group at a time. Now...form a line... And then we could overpower each group and find out which ones were legal and which ones were illegal and deport the illegal ones and............there would be less traffic. Brilliant. Why did the government not think of this?? Oh well. Jordan made a cartoon depicting this entire thing. It was awesome. So. After 6 hours we finally made it to Ventura. Yeah...there was just that much traffic. Naturally we went straight to Scott's. BUT WHEN WE GOT THERE.........we found him in a reading. Busy. After driving 6 hours to get readings we couldn't get them. Uuuuuuuuugh..... So we just walked around and went to Wild Planet. They had really kickass posters there, so I got a huge one and a normal-sized one. The huge one was Reservoir Dogs with Mr. Pink & Mr. White, which was really cool, and the smaller one was Zeppelin. Yay. More awesomeness for my room. I'm just running out of room on my walls so I have to move them closer together......and I think I'll have to put my Reservoir Dogs one on my ceiling with my other big posters. I also got a Led Zeppelin shirt there. Yessss.... Then we went to Dargan's, the Irish pub/restaurant on the corner of Main, and put our names in. They said it would take about 20 minutes so we walked over to Starbuck's because Jordan had to use the bathroom. But the bathroom was for customers only so I had to buy a caramel apple cider. The girl at the register was looking at me funny for a while, then she said that I looked like Amy Lee from Evanescence. Yeah....I get that one a lot... The dude that was making my drink was cool, though. He started talking to me and stuff and apparently he used to live in Santa Clarita. Coolness. At Dargan's I got the Irish stew and Jordan got chicken curry, which I didn't even know they had at Irish restaurants. Mine ended up being a lot better so I let her have some. The people that work there......all dressed like us. Well actually more like the way we dressed during sophomore year. But I was like duuude...I could totally work here. It was cool. And the guy that sat by us was cute-ish. It was probably mostly because he had longer hair, but he had a whole brood of children with him. And his wife. Lame. But one of his kids was funny because she ordered root beer or something and every time she went to drink some it looked like she was drinking beer. Then we went back to Wild Planet and I thought about buying another poster but I decided that spending $100 that day was more than enough...but Jordan got a big poster of Marilyn Manson on the can. Copied from the one Frank Zappa did. I want that poster....I may get the smaller version of it. Anyway then we drove home. On the way there was an accident on the 126 where a car flipped over into the riverbed thing and there were cops and fire trucks all over the place. Jordan and I were babbling in the back seat of course and somehow we started talking about what we were going to write for our autobiographies for Lit Mag. Jordan talked to somebody that was in it and they said that different people write different things and it didn't really matter what we put as long as we put....something? So. Jordan said we should do something completely random. Like: Jordan Murphy is a senior. Her microwave is broken... or Samantha Simms is a senior. Her microwave isn't. Whatever. It's still better than what Gapper wrote and said I should use for it. I mean...the woman said that I had "stopped doing artwork for 2 years as a sign of rebellion." Bull. Shit. But yeah we're crazy. And we finally got back to Jordan's house where we passed out on the couch. We went to Ventura today, but I'm writing a separate entry for that.