Well. Sarah dragged me off to see the fireworks. Yeah. We watched them from the top of her mom's friend's store at the Avenue. Good view. Wouldve been better on the lake. But I'm not complaining. Atleast someone cares enough about me as a friend to drag my miserable ass off the couch for the night. Sarah is so cool. Just the best friend I could ever have. She's the only person who can make me actually laugh, and around her I act like myself. Yeah. It's great to have a really good friend. I saw Drew at the bookstore. God. I was too shy to wave or anything. Besides, he has a girlfriend. Not that she likes me either. I'm just the dark depressed nerdy two faced child. Just pass me over, ye-ep. I wish he would notice me. Or say something to me. Or hug me. Or not make me feel like such an idiot every time i see him. Lili, you have to stop chasing after guys who will never notice you. Just face the music. Only dorks notice you. Stupid whiny ones. I'm shivering and I can't stop. I'm seeing double. Maybe I'm sick. I find that hilariously funny. Everybody lies to you. There is no such thing as love. There's only fear and domination and always winning. I'm in a deleting mood. I want to do something drastic and ugly. Maybe I should delete all my stories and never write again. Yeah. I suck anyways. Who am I to think that I could ever do this for a living? And I cannot for the life of me figure out why my stories are so full of life and hope and love when I have none left in me. Maybe they predict what wil one day be. Figuratively, of course. Well. That would be nice.