Lena, I am so ghetto. And you know it. :D ahhh, i got some nice knee high boots for x mas, i can tell by the sound they make when i shake the package. mm, mm, good. leathery deliciousness. well, not that i'll eat them or anything. i'll just wear them. and look delicious. :D Friday I'm not going to school, i'm going to the Avenue with Natalie. And we're going to finish up our christmas shopping. I baked shortbread cookies, just now! They are mm mm good. =DDDD I wish I could call Alli. I wish I could say I was sorry. I wish I could work up enough courage to just sign her name on that christmas card envelope and put it in the mailbox. but i can't. i'm afraid. She used to be my best friend, and now she abhors me. I tried to explain, really, i did, but who's it going to be? Me, or they? Your nerd friend, Alli, or your cheerleading squad? Walking a tightrope or secure land? No, i shouldn't focus on it. My life's okay, now. My head hurts. I wish we had aspirin. I took a load of valerian yesterday, slept for a long time. When i sleep, i don't have to deal with anything: not with alli, not with homework or school, not with need need need want want want and they all tear and pull and push and scream my name until i just want to scream right back shut up shut up shut UP!!!! I don't know what I'm doing. I need to get rid of my headaches. I think mom hid our aspirin. I think we have some, somewhere. I need something to fix me right up. Dear Santa, for christmas, I'd like to be hit in the head with a poker, please. Love, Lili