soo...much happened this week... I beat up Austin. I had a ton of bottled emotion and since i haven't yet convinced my dad to get me a punching bag, I took Austin up on a previous offer. He said once that he would be my punching bag if i needed one...and i really wanted to hurt him. I'm not always that violent but i was just so sick of him not seeing me and smuah and when as i kept hearing things that he had done and the emotion bubble burst and it was a big bang. I took one of my nails and dug it behind his ear and then dragged it down under his jaw then straight down his neak to his sterum. that was red for quite a while. I then punched him mutiple times and i clawed him a few more times. and i bit him...I didn't help that Austin seemed to be enjoing it and that made me want to hurt him even more....grrrrr...I also slaped him. then the next day i went and apologized to him because i felt very guilty for hurting him. And instead he called me a theif...*agian* and he wanted to know why i did this and why i didn't do that...and that only made me cry which was kindof good because i was wanting to cry all week and i hadn't really cried yet. he tried to hug me and stop my tears but i wanted them to came and i didn't return his hug. i think that he thought because i cried at the bus stop with him that we were good buds now...stupid boy. I really want to snuggle with a certin teddy bear right now... So on thursday i had this five hour rehersal from 5 to 10 in the afternoon. Scott and Jordan kept me entertained the whole time. There was a point in time where they came up to me and started doing the whole crocodille hunter thing and then they discussed how they were going to catch "the Mariah" and then they proceeded to chase me around the auditorium and every so often they'd catch me and then i would escape them. at the end we all just kind of collapsed it was fun. I went to the stomp on friday after the game i had fun..i guess. I miss dancing. There needs to be another stake dance.