im getting closer and closer to graduation. the realization that im about to grow up is bothering me. im scared as hell. i cant decide on a field to go in, i dont have enough money to get started, i havent applied anywhere bc my mom keeps putting off my sat and financial aid applications. i dont know. i really want to do something with my life. but i feel like my chances get slimmer everyday i get closer to may. i dont like all this pressure and deadlines. im usually more organized, i dont know maybe some windows will be opened soon. i can only hope for the best.