dissappointment. i feel it in the pit of my stomach. im not dissappointed in him though, i dont expect anything from him, im dissappointed in myself. i let myself down. i lost complete sight of my self worth. i constantly let him convince my conscience im not worth the hard work and im not worth a nice note or compliment. how did i get this deep? how did i ever let him think he didnt need to be a gentleman or respect me. i promised myself i would never stand to be undermined by a man with no couth. and i promised to never settle for less than the high standards i once held so proudly. is it possible, im that weak for him, that i would start to re-evaluate who i am and whether or not im good enough. i dont deserve someone good, i deserve someone great. i really shouldve walked away a long time ago. and now its too late because im leaving and it wouldnt really be considered walking away. i know exactly what i want in a man, and he is everything ive never wanted. and still for some reason i dont just stick to doing what i know ive needed to do for a long time.