It's been a really long time since I've even thought about this site. It might have even been a year now. I'm getting ready to go back to Baltimore now. My tour in Korea is over. For the last almost seven months I have transformed into a person I don't know. I've avoided all feelings, my journal, and emotions. I have become this numb android. I went into this mode the night my grammy passed away. I lost everything. Atleast that's what it felt like, but for the first time in my life I have not been able to cry. I've been to multiple funerals in the last two years and was able to get it out, but I couldn't even cry at my Graham cracker's funeral. It's been an awful experience. I've been numb since. I don't really feel anything or get close to people. I just walk around like a droid. I have horrible flashbacks of watching her