ahhh its almost three in the morning and i need sleep like my little lungs need air. but i cant sleep because i have two tests and a huge project due tomorrow, so there is no time of course because i procrastinated it all. im regretting it now bc it makes me feel like shit. thriving off caffeine and push pops isnt helping. and why is it now that my brain decides to flop and feel all depressed. this isnt my normal flow. its just im now realizing how lonely things can be. i have mer. but all my guy friends(and friends last year) i was so close to last year got girlfriends and they dont need me anymore to hang out. and how much i despise and absolutely refuse to believe in love. im not comfortable calling it love.i dont know how it happened but ive been like this since elementary school .never could get into relationships and if i did i got cold feet. its my fault so i cant whine about it bc i get offers, i turn them all down. im beginning to think there could be some kind of problem with the way i think of things like this. i dont want to be uncomfortable but its all ive grown to know now.