sometimes...i just wanna be home. i miss that familiarity. i miss waking up and taking a drive and that night drive before i would go to sleep. a drive to see the city lights at night for no absolute reason. just because i could. music has become my constant companion. i dont really care to invest in long term relationships here. there isnt any point. they'll dissappear soon enough. theres nothing constant in living the "army life". no stable balance. its give and give up. i dont know what i want though. i want nothing more than to be free of course but money always comes into play. sometimes i still feel like i betrayed my life and like i live a lie. because deep down i know this is not the life i want to live but im just trying to make the best of it. i always believed in believing in myself and others and living for happiness not money. well i live for money now. sold it for my soul. im ashamed. i am cheap....