im sure my time will come to find that something. that knack, but today i gave in. after four months of contentment i gave in. i cried. my eyes still burn from the salt in my tears. i needed it though. it felt so good i didnt want to stop. but i did. it only lasted a few minutes. i dont know it just seems like ive been so caught up in being content for so long that i have lost sight in what it feels like to feel. ive felt so empty for so long, but i dont mind it. its kind of nice. i cant be dissappointed. i can beat this game of reality.