my coach left a voicemail on my phone today asking me as an individual task to write down the reasons i dont think im a good soccer player and the good things people tell me when i play soccer. hes been helping me prepare for stuff mentally and understanding everything that goes on. i must find the good in between. so forgive me is some of this is blunt or sounds lame. bc its only real. The reasons i dont think im a good soccer player: i hesitate. the girls on the field yell at me for every mistake so i must be doing something wrong. everything i do doesnt seem to be good enough for the coach. unlike the other girls like tati, allison, karen, and kelly. i get tired quickly sometimes. I cant be at practice all the time bc i have a job(i have to have money to pay for gas so i can get to school and soccer) so i feel inferior to the captains. I dont communicate well with the other starters or talk to them much at all. i get upset when people yell at me and i feel like a wuss The reasons others say i am a good soccer player: I'm quick with the ball i have good chemistry when passing im fast i shoot the ball i give it everything i got when im out there im always behind the girls for support they can count on me to be ready for help when they need it im still not sure, it will have to sink in but i still feel like a wussy. a weak person. and i will not let people see me as weak. it just gets to be a mental game when im out there and i flip and do worse. i dont have a lot of confidence out there bc i dont feel like my team trusts me or has the confidence in me to do what i do.