okay, i am so tired of people. i don't care anymore, so whatever. i wish people wouldn't talk about me or tell people things about me that they have no idea about. i am a person you know, i have feelings. this taylor thing can go to hell, if he's not interested, i really don't care. i like him, but if he doesn't want to pursue this, then whatever- i'm totally fine with that. oh, and another thing, people have no idea why i am the way that i am. maybe something happened to me a long time ago that makes me do certain things or over react to things now, you have no clue. so if you have NO IDEA what you're talking about, then don't talk about it. i'm just so hurt and confused by the things people are telling me that's going on. i just don't understand how people say they're doing things in your best interest, but it's really just hurting you in the end. i'm sick of this, i don't care anymore. if people want to be my friend, the BE my friend, and follow all the rules of being a TRUE friend. if guys want to date me, then they should talk to me, don't just expect me to know what the hell you're thinking. if they don't, but once said they do, tell me you're not interested anymore. i hate waiting around for nothing. if people want to hate me or be mad at me, then they have the right to. but please, i wish people would stop being fake to my face and being true to themselves behind my back. if you have a problem, voice it. i'm not a physically strong person, so if you have a problem, i doubt i'll punch you in the face- seeing as one hit and i'm down for the count. i'm just so aggravated and upset by everything that's going on. three months had gone by since i last saw jason, and i was totally fine, i was happy, i was past it, and then some guy says he likes me and i get all frazzled because i don't know how to handle it. in case anyone isn't aware, i've only had two serious boyfriends, and they both screwed me over, so i don't know how to handle dating very well. no one ever thinks that there is something else behind my actions and feelings. did i ever tell you i have issues with trusting men and/or boys? i don't think so. it's because i was almost raped as a little girl, and my uncle molested my brother and me when he was living with us. happy now? does this explain why i am the way i am? i may be a clingy person, but that's a fault i have. i'm sure everyone has faults, no one is perfect. and the whole thing with jason, well, that was because i was going through some shit that no one even knew about, not even my 'best friends' at the time, so whatever. ya'll can think what you want, warn people about me, talk about me, get involved in shit that doesn't concern you, because I AM THROUGH WITH THE BULLSHIT. guys are stressful, they're not worth it. people make judgements before they know the truth, and that is just dandy, because i don't care anymore. if you have a problem with any of this, anyone at all, speak up because i'm sick of people lying to my face, pretending to care, and i'm really tired of everyone acting like it's the most normal thing in the entrie fucking world. okay? p.s. this is not directed at anyone persay, but if any of this pertains to you, then that's how i feel. alright everyone?