so my birthday was lame. amy took me to rum jungle, and it was so boring and stupid. but, i have something more important to rant about right now. achewood, why are you doing this to me? what have i done to you that made you start harassing me? i'm baffled as to why you seem to think i deserve to have my life made fun of, my intelligence belittled, my privacy invaded. you are either a teacher, or some jerk in my class. and i swear to god, you better hope i never find out who you are, because if and when i do, i'm taking you to court. do you know how many people hate you for what you are doing to me? during the exam all i thought about was, "what if achewood is mr. finockio? if so, there's no point in doing the friggin exam because he'll fail me anyways". do you know how hard it was to go to trans class everyday and sit there and wonder who you are? i was actually starting to care about my classes, when you all of a sudden just come in and call me pathetic, and say all this shit about why i'm not graduating. you don't understand me, you don't know what's going on in my life. if you did, maybe you'd have some compassion and stop harassing me with your anonymous remarks. i can't quite comprehend what would drive someone to do this to me. what is your motive? do you get some sick thrill knowing that you're screwing with my mind and my emotions? why don't you just fade away and leave me alone? are you going to keep writing to me even during the summer? i don't get it. i don't know why you chose me to do this to. or maybe i'm just one of many. you left comments on laura sharp's journal, and so that leads us to believe that you are someone that knows us both. the funny thing is though, mr. finockio teaches us both. that is my first guess. but my second one, there's a whole story behind that, and if you are that second person, i'd seriously take a look in the mirror because you're being the biggest hipocrite i've ever met. but you know what? this journal was a release for me. it was some place i could go to write about how i was feeling, and have my friends read it without judging, and they would help me though things. you've ruined that. you have flat out wrecked something that was actually helping me with the crapp that goes on in my life. i really hope you feel great about picking on me and harassing me, because you've made everything i thought was fun and enjoyable a big load of bullshit. i sincerly hope you are having fun, because if not, then what is the point of all of this? what is the point of saying these things to me, especially when i have no clue who you are, and when all it's really doing is ruining my life? i was so depressed a while ago, i found out about sitdiary, and i wrote. i let it all come out, and finally my friends understood what was happening to me. i started to feel better because they knew, and i met someone who is a great person, and they love me. so i started to write about that. did you read every single entry of mine? well, you might as well go to michele12's diary too, because that was my first diary, and that has more of my depression shit on it. you don't seem to understand what a good thing this journal was for me, and then you found it on march 16th, and you left me a comment, and after that you just kept on coming back. why? what have i ever done to you to deserve this shit? i didn't think anyone could be this mean and vindictive towards someone, but there you are with your comments that just drag me down and make me feel like i did eight months ago. i hope you know what you've done to me. or maybe that was your plan all along. i really want you to think about how upset and depressed i am now. i am no longer going up in my happiness, you have brought me back down to a level i haven't experienced in so long. all i feel now is that there is no point to anything, because i am a failure. thank you so much for showing me that i will never be someone. thank you for making me see that i am a pathetic excuse of a person. laura