give me a minute, i am having a smoke... 712 pm chris is sleeping, which gives me ample time to write. today was funny, we were at my house having a shower, and we heard someone at the door. so, i put on my clothes and dried my hair as best i could, and went to see who it was- we thought it was my mum. it wasn't, it was some guy coming over to fix the fan in the bathroom. yeah. i keep having weird dreams about nattie. in one of them, she was on one side of this really busy street, calling my name and waving and i was trying to cross the street to go over to her, but i couldn't, then i woke up. alanna says it's a metaphor or something. it's chris's birthday on friday, and i do believe i've gotten him a good present, but i still feel like i should get him something else. there's a party here on friday, but he might have to work. it will suck if he has to. so lately i've been talking to amanda, which is good because i'd forgotten why we stopped talking. i made her this little backpack thing, which she thinks it cute. i have one too. we've decided to make a whole bunch of stuff and go sell things at the fringe festival in july, that should be a lot of fun. we went last year, and it was great. the shows are always interesting. like the guy who locked himself in a mailbag.. funny stuff. choir is good, we're doing some okay songs, and one of my favorite ones too. it's called down to the river to pray, and i have it on a cd. good stuff. the choir actually does a pretty decent job of it too. i'm moving in less than a month. my daddy was talking to me about moving into the house he owns on anderson street. my step brother ryan lives there too, but he needs a room mate. i don't know, it would kind of be weird living with ryan. he's weird, even though he is my brother. it's very quiet right now. chris's parents are gone out, and we fell asleep around four thirty. he had to work last night until midnight, and then again this morning at seven. so he's tired. i started crying today for no reason at all. i just came home after lit class and threw all my stuff on the floor, and then went in my room to lie down. why am i so emotional again? it's scaring me. none of my clothes fit. that's really annoying. i have three pairs of pants that still fit me, and the rest of them just fall off. i have to go shopping for new clothes, but i have no money and my mum doesn't either. life sucks when you're poor. the one, the only, laura michelle*