here in the library, bored to tears. well now, today is the first day this week that i actually went to class. math sucks, we're doing taxes. arg. and then in psych, ha, we're doing sex ed. it's so boring. i'm such a chain smoker, i bought smokes yesterday afternoon and now i am down to half a deck. ha. i'm so bored. well then, how do you know if people are being truthful or not? i mean, matt called me last night and says all this stuff about how he wants me back, and he'll do anything to make it right. but how can i trust him? you know? it's so damned confusing. i mean, i don't even think i'm ready for a relationship even if i did want to get back together with him, which i seriously do not. but realy now, why is he saying all this shit to me about everything that happened? arg. i hate work. they took away my key to the till because there have been so many fuck ups when i'm on with this girl named amanda. she's not the brighest lightbulb, you know? so she's always making all these mistakes and i'm getting blamed for it. so my boss, maggie, let me work the till for three hours yesterday when it was me and her, and there was nothing wrong with what i was doing. so now she knows that it's not me. yay. but yeah, i hate my job, it's quite boring. oh jeez, this guy that works at a kiosk by mine was talking to me, and then he went for his break, and then came back. he took a bunch of extasy on his break. what an idiot! not only is he stupid for doing e, but to do it while you're working is retarded. way to jepordize your job hey? but whatever, people do what they want to and such. frickin kat, she didn't do my nails yesterday like she promised, so now i'm not even going to bother. oh well. what can you do when people keep forgetting and then have no time? there's not much you really can do besides suck it up and deal with it. ugh, i'm sick, and i hate being sick. i woke up at four in the morning, and just couldn't stop coughing. oh, i wrote a poem, it's sad and stupid, but whatever. converse tapping in time, black nails chewed and torn thick-rimmed glasses sliding, -falling off as she cries. fragile heart breaking soul twisting in the lies, and she knows she's fading fast -nothing can save her from herself. a minor chord rings out, and pierces her heart through the fog. nothing seems to matter and she sinks down into the dark that has come to comfort her. well then, i do believe it is quite a pathetic little poem. but hell, what can you do when you feel like shit? other than write out your feelings about how you wish the world would just stop spinning for a moment so that you could at least try to catch up. life is crazy, and i feel like i'm trying to swim with concrete shoes. why oh why is everything so weird and confusing? it's just all so... tiring after a while. but now i have nothignt o write, and i need a smoke. so ta ta little internet world, hang in there. the one, the only, laura michelle*