So, my computer died this morning
And tonight I brought it back, yay!

Maybe it's a sign, maybe not, I spent like 8 hours on it and it finally paid off, I'm very superstitious, and I take it as an omen, and the omen is keep trying with something, whether it's a relationship, a project, or simply life in general, and it'll come back to you in a pleasant form.

Tonight I had a ridiculously good night, better then all the nights I've had previously this week, and I really enjoyed it, and I think I finally got my point across, I'm not too sure, but I hope I did, I'm not getting false hope or anything like that, I'm still in the same mindset I have been all week, I'm really sad, not eating, and not sleeping, although I did get comforted enough at a point this afternoon where I fell right asleep, but still, I'm not going to be sleeping tonight and why, I do not know, I think it's my conscious telling me I need to figure something out, so, I suppose I'll do that, and I also figured out that, the people in your life that are there when you need them are the only people you really need, sure, there are times when your just simply bored and WANT them there, and they can't be, but when things are really against you, and you think you can't hold on anymore, and you really need someone, they show up, without you even having to ask them, those are the people that you need in your life, and they are the ones you need to allow to become a big part of your life, even if they've wronged you, or hurt you, or anything like that, people that are always there when you need them and that always help you without you even asking them in any way to, are the ones that matter, the others are just superficial and don't deserve a spot in your life, they just waste space.

Bottom line of this mess of a entry, is that I just wanna say, that even though things may have been not so good the last few weeks, that doesn't matter, it's in the past and gone now, what does is that, when I needed you, you were there, and that's why you deserve to be a big part of my life, I know theres a part that doesn't want to be that type of part, and I understand, and I'll understand if it doesn't work out that way, and instead it will be a different part (getting confusing but I think you know what I mean), but the spots always open.
If it's confusing it's okay, because I honestly dunno what I'm saying anymore, I'm delirious.

I'm getting better

But thank god for my computer getting back up, now I can get back to watching Scrubs.