Few days, I've really gotten some serious epiphanies. It may be the fact in the last 3 days I've only been home a total of like 4 hours, cause I've been out chilling with people screwing around for like 48 hours straight, that's most likely it. When my brain is most stressed is when I get the big epiphanies. I've re-written this stupid entry like 3 times, can't seem to get my point across to myself. I'll just put in the bottom line. I know what I need to do, with my relationships, and with myself. I just feel like, I need to learn, what respect and dignity, really mean, and I feel like I can learn that in the military. That's why I'm going to seriously think about it, and then call Ssgt. Akens, and tell him to reserve me that spot for 68 Whiskey, because I want to ship out November 18th. I'm scared, I don't know if I should go, but I'm going to go, there is nothing holding me back, and everyone that I really care about, has bailed on me, so, I'm tired of staying in order to fix things with everyone, if they want to fix things with me, they'll come to me. Because I'm a lion, and I'm confident, and I can destroy anything in my path, and I'm going to take that last jump to prove to myself, that I really am as strong, happy, confident, as I believe. I'm doing good, I'm doing great. And I can do it. Edit: Well, at least I know I have some heart, and can do things alone without someone cheering me on. I went on a run today, from my house to near where one of my friends live near a place called todd ranch, and on my way there I rolled my ankle, but just kept running, but when I got there I tripped, rolled my ankle, and sprained it, and I'm pretty sure I tore something, because I was sitting there for a good 10 minutes, and at one point threw up a bit from the pain. But at least I know I have some heart because instead of going to my friends house to have him bring me home, I finished my run, walked home, tried to run a bit but that didn't work out. But at least I finished my run, on my own motivation, no one elses. So I know now, I don't need someone there motivating me, or help at all, I just need myself, and I'll be alright. And I will be alright, and I feel good now, and cozy :D. I'm wearing my favorite shirt, it always makes me feel good, my uber tight grey haste the day shirt, it makes me feel all buff and awesome.