I've been incredibly lonely lately, and it gets twice as bad when I'm hurting over a certain thing, yet, I'm okay with it. It feels like I deserve it, because lets be honest I've done some incredibly fucked up things in life, and people who've known me for years know that I just do dumbass and messed up things, but even myself, when I look on the things I've done in the past and the way I've acted, I just go wow. So, it just feels like I deserve everything thats been thrown my way, maybe I have, maybe I havn't, but if you exclude the last few months for a second, I have been just completely alone for about a good 2 years or so, and it just feels like it's supposed to be that way, like I'm not meant to be really happy in that way, that I'm just meant to be sad and miserable, because when I'm sad and miserable I get more focused, so maybe it's fate that I always end up alone and more miserable then before, because each time it drives me closer and closer to something big. I dunno, but for the first time in a long time, I don't want to be alone, and I'm starting to not be okay with being alone and sad and miserable over it. But that's whats in my cards right now, so I just gotta roll with it.