A P.S. to my last post In order for me to be good at what I do, I have to allow myself to be miserable. And in order to be happy, and I have not be able to do what I wanna do. So, in order to make everyone around me happy, and make my mind happy, I have to metaphorically kill my heart. And since I am a hardcore black and white, 1 out of every 10,000 times there may be a gray area, I have to make a choice, either be selfish and allow myself to be happy, or allow everyone else and my mind to be happy, and metaphorically let my heart die. I'm just thinking out loud, I've already made up my mind. Life's just made up of little sacrifices. I like to think that every day is made up of little tests, it's not a pass or fail kind of test, but if you look at what you thought, and what you did during the day, and then look inside yourself, you can see what kind of person you are. I've spent all day my face buried in books, and on the internet, just learning, not for any reason, I just wanna be ahead. I can tell you right now, 5 years from now, I'm going to live at my work.