It was a bad night, really bad. I wanted to cut, i wanted to hurt him, i wanted to die, he told me to txt him whever i needed him, i didm he didnt anser. i rung him and screamed at him, he didnt understand. i told him i was cutting at the same time as texting him, he stopped texting back. 2 hours later he txt bak asking if i was ok. i said i was sorry and asked him why did he bother. he loves me deep, he didnt even realise how much i meant to him. i asked him why when im such a bitch to him and hurt everyone all the time, he told me nothing mattered anymore and that he had learnt that today. i hurt him, i wantd to to,.i never wanted to hurt him, i knew that the first day i met him, he didnt deserve anymore pain, he makes me feel better, he keeps me alive, but i still wanted to hurt...he was right..nothing matters anymore...it hasnt mattered since he left last yr....i miss him so much...i hated that night...wen we had that fight..if i could take it all bak..everything i said...i would..i hate myself..but nothing matters, not me..i dont care about me...i told somone that yesterday..they told me hurted people wen i said i didnt care about wat happned to me..im sorry it hurts people but i dont...it made me sad yesterday..shaz said to me...it used to be me and u against the world, now it seems like ur just...giving up. im not giving up tho im still here, i just dont care . nothing seems worth it anymore...he used to be my life, my love and my happiness...without him by my side...im nothing...wen i was in his arms there was no safer place and no other place i would rather be...i miss him