i wrote a letter forsomone...he hates me now tho, so theres no point giving it to him Why aren't you happy? all i ever tried was to make you happy, even if it left me completely miserable. i don't know why i tried so hard, and kept coming back for acceptence, when you never cared for me. you lied.6 days it will be a 15 months. i am certain you don't remember that. i was in love, but you never realized how much i loved you. you just threw the words around, i can't forget you now. matts name is carved in my leg, it's right after the words "i love". hes in my flesh now and so r u. i don't want that. everytime i had the blade in my hands, i will never understand why i cried for you, and why i bled for you. Why does it seem like u dont care anymore...? coz u dont..? ur not like this, u've helped me thru so much. So does it mean that the past 6 months is a lie..that u didnt mean anything u said...u wont let me give up on everyone and everything..but u do urself...i thought we were in this together..both their for each other. u have taught me more than anyone. When i was ready to give up...it was u who i stopped beacause of...when u told me it was fate that wes died and it was his time to go and we would be alright..i beleived u..when matt left and i thought the world would end...u made me see it wouldnt...when i was going to leave home..u were the only person i stayed for. everything u've ever said to me, i trusted u...i beleived u...i beleived in u. so when u say ur giving up and not trusting neone anymore,..im not sure wat to say..u have helped me so much in the last 6 months and i know that when i said all that stuff everything u've helped me work towards...i threw it all away. im not making excuses for me. i know i fucked up big time..i know i broke every promise ive ever made to u and im honestly sorry for that. i needed helpthat afternoom..u were the only person i thought i could reach out to..without asking as such...im sorry for that. u no a few weeks ago when i told u i was putting everything behind me and u said that i didnt need u anymore but u would still be here. that scared me when u said that..i duno why tho but not as much as it scared me last night when u said that u were giving up on everyone..i duno..it scared me..upset me..made me angry..this isnt about me now tho...its about u..i know things wont be the same anymore...but i am so sorry...i dont want u to forgive me...i no u wont anyway but yea...u always told me never to give up...i think u should think about that...im so sorry..