Well...I think its time I updated properly...Havent for awile now... Not much has happened really, still havent got myself a guy, I decided I need a bf though coz I am so sick of being called a slut...Im not..well not that much anyways.. Theres guys but...I duno, theres sum Simon guy but meh...we're just friends and he lives the other side of Brissy anyways so we wouldnt see each other that much...theres ppl I would like to be with and who said they would be with me...Except they dont actually live in the same state as me...And their are random people who want to be with me...only for one reason of course though...coz they know they will get what they want. Im starting to think lately thats the only reason any guy has anything to do with me, is coz they have it in their head that I will put out with them...Do I have some sort of sign on my head sayin "SLUT, COME HERE" no i dont think so...All I want is someone to love me...thats all i fuckin want and you would think I was askin for a millon dollars or something... As much as I hate andrew, Ive been missing him lately...Doing the whole cry myself to sleep thing over him. I hate doing that coz all he has done is cause me pain, so why do i miss him?? He lied to me, got sex every week, took money from me, lied some more, got with my best friend and then broke my heart so why...Like...I really dont get it...I hate him and I hate that syco nutcase bitch as well but yeah...Maybe its just cause he was the first person that actually loved me...In a long time...Since matt....And I was in love with him...That afternoon him and her showed up at work...I dont think it was her that freaked me out and upset me...I think it was seeing him...Seeing him after doing everything possible to get over him and forget he even exists and then just to see him and then to have him look straight through me like i wasnt even there, or like he wanted to make me hurt seeing him and her together...What the fuck did I ever do them god dammit. Nothing... We decided a few weeks ago after her showing up and my boss wanting me to get a restraining order against her that I wouldnt...Not because she doesnt scare me coz she does in her own way because I know what she is capable of but because if I went to the cops about her...a) she would be going to juvie and as fucked up as she is I know myself she wouldnt last in there and she still deserves a chance b) If i did that, it means she has won, it would mean she had gotten to me enough to do something about her and Im not letting that happen... Anyway as much as it seems Ive only got bad stuff to say, Im not cut up or anything over all that, I just needed to say it and no one here knows me...well...in person, so I guess they can't judge me as much can they...Anyways I am happy otherwise so don't think Im not. I dont let stuff get to me anymore, I decided i wasnt going to this year...And im succeeding, people can think about me what they like I just dont give a fuck anymore... Newho, robbie I am so proud of u for updating...Wooot ( I kno somone that says woot in real life as well and he's a guy so don't think ur weird or nothin...well...extra speshully weird :p Muh gorgeous darlin little chickun no nothing has happened with you-know-who since I told you last. I have to ring him later so I will see what he says then, and he will tell me what ash said to him...I feel bad though that I have caused him problems coz that is the last thing I want to do but, it is her own fault and like I said to him last night...he deserves better than her...besides he said he doesnt care that shes mad so yer... Muh other gorgeous chickun ( you will have to guess who you are :p) Im glad to have you back and no ur not dead. (btw we won da footy!!) Love u!!! :p Mwah Newho dats all for me...Mwahz to everyone else He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for... So much more than he could ever give. A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.