I have no friends here anymore. I say now that I won't talk to ArJay until I can't possibly avoid it any longer... but we all know I will. But she is not my friend. I have... none. Sara is the closest thing to a friend I have around. I can't get ahold of robyn.... tasha is far far away in arkansas... there are few... or no male friends to speak of. Closest thing to a guy friend is scott. only guy I'd even particularly lament talking to. but them... they are worthless. they lie to me. i dont expect him to talk to me at all. i will make friends with him. but she fucking lies. quite confused. i wish i could tell them what happens. But this year.... I have to make new friends. find people that aren't evil. people that won't lie to me. i want to go away. i hate it here. i hate everyone. i want to go to oklahoma and stay with my aunt and uncle. they don't yell at me or lie to me. only people around that are completely tolerable. i need to go away again. they were my escape last time... my salvation. i need it again. i wish i could spend 10th grade in oklahoma. that would be good for me i think. i hate everyone here. or nearly hate. mom-nearly tony-HATE dad-HATE "friends"-HATE bad things are going to happen... i can feel it. i already hurt myself yesterday... and i havent done it to that extent for a long time. i am going to start letting little things slip. and people will hate me. and i will be a loner like i was in 5th grade. and the teachers won't fucking care and won't fucking tell my parents again. and i can just be alone. I can just fall into my own little world again. I will miss people, yes, but i will also be glad to be... solitary.