It's been too long. so many different things happening. I'm going to miss him so bad if he goes away... I didn't want this to happen, I really didn't. But I can't help but admire him for it. How hard would it have to be to sign your name on those papers, knowing that you couldn't go back? He's braver than I could really ever hope to be. It just makes it hurt a little. He's my friend. And it's not that I don't want more... it's just... I don't want to lose the friend part. My head spins with everything I'm thinking about, and I just still can't bring myself to spill. To say everything that I want to say. but it can't be love.... can it?