It hurts.... I know I should go back... I'm probably fine... but hte doctor and the mom insist on keeping me home... it's the end of it all... I feel so... I dont konw what I feel anymore. She makes me hate myself. They all do. I don't know what to do anymore... I need to find out what I've missed and messed up... Besides life... All I know what I feel is this intense aching pain in my chest when I cough... maybe it's something else in there hurting too... I know I should talk to her... She called me and IMed me today... She tells me they miss me and ask about me. And I feel alone and I'm not sure what exactly to do about it. I have medication. Not what I need... but I guess it's a start... Maybe I should just say goodbye to my future right now because I have no idea how I'm going to get through this alive with everything I have to do and everyone I have to do... I need to go to bed and sleep... I don't want to get out of bed tomorrow. I'd reallly like not to wake up... Just sleep all day long... I don't want to wake up- for a logn time.