i wrote this before i went to sleep. after i finished cut. that person sounds like me in the way she writes. the very thought of it makes me close my eyes to hold back..things... it's horrible An indescribable urge, yet a fear. I want things to go back to normal. I need this stability in my life hearing your words in my head long after they’re gone feeling so connected, but distant I wish I had what you did the loving salvation you have found Somewhat of a sanctuary. Courage to tell them what’s wrong The gumption to tell the truth so many secrets that I don’t dare let out to anyone silent tears come as I toss and turn... Trying to find comfort in one single place I know I need to lets this out something... before it all happens again. I miss the old me. True, I’ve changed in irreversible ways, yet some I feel I can still fight back for I’m the one person I miss the most I want to tell you all, but I’m afraid I fear hate, rejection... Pity I bottle it up instead of facing my fears I know this isn’t good for me, But I don’t know what else to do. It’s all I can handle. I waste my breath on worthless wishes. Prayers to something I don’t believe in. Pleas of help in my imagination. Trying so hard not to take that path again I did it once... it hurt. It’s left those shiny pink marks upon me Scars I can never get rid of. If only I had the courage to tell you all I’d cry on your shoulder as long as you’d let me I’d do my best to believe when you tell me “It’s all okay.” I need to find a stable point Something to get me there. I feel like I need your love more now than ever I want to get better... I want these feelings to go away.