I give up. i have been led on once afuckinggain. as bad as i might want to there is no place i can hide anything anymore. not a thought, not a cut. if i werent so afraid of anything and everything, i'd take something worthless away from the world. but i can't. so i will just cry and pretend that i dont care. i will look on and continue to pretend to be the good one. i hate her. i hate everybody and everything in this world right now. i want to go away and never come back to where i am right now. i never want to sit here in this chair and cry until i can't breathe again. i need to leave. i wish i could trade in my life for a new one. but i cant. i just want to be appreciated and loved... sometimes... i want my daddy. i need a hug and to sleep for a long time. past 11 tomorrow morning. fuck the orthodontist. i dont fucking care about my goddamned teeth. all i ever wanted was to matter.