Nobody is ever on here anymore. It is sad. Summer will be good, with the exception of one huge thing. Mummy and daddy say no to arkansas. OOOH I hate that. But I will go to SUU and I will swim. There are 9 days left of school. It is fucking insane how fast the year has gone, and how much part of it is like a fucking blank. September-greenday, failed date request October- Dyed my hair, thought... November- one year... aleks. last kiss December- blow up. We watched eachother cry January- New year started out with an aching pain February- inevitably disasterous March- At UNI... tried to be okay April- acquaintances, taken to daddy's house, heninger, friendship agreement, the nook May- lizzy 16, dependent independency, home. school draws to a close, and I feel like there is something I have to do. but I don't have even the slightest idea what. I still want love. It is so hard to watch all the people around you be so blissfully happy. and then I am... here... intimately alone. Oh well...... I just need to fill my time. I thought I had found them... but i fuck up. Summer is too hot. I want to take a nap while my room is still nice and cool. I wish I had someone right now that would always be around to hug and hold and laugh with. how pathetic.